Reorientation:
I head in to a midday class at Five Rings expecting my regular session. Coach Greg is out sick today, so Coach Tom greets me as I walk onto the mat. I look around to discover that I am the only student present. It takes me a moment, but I soon realize that I’m about to get a private session with my gym’s head coach. We get right down to it. Coach has me show him my game plan for the Revolution. Not much has changed since the Oregon Open. Slide guard, look for an opening for a triangle, armbar, or omoplata.
Coach helps me focus in on a quicker and smoother triangle attack immediately from the slide. There are key points of tension and relaxation that I hadn’t considered before that tighten up the submission significantly. I drill this extensively and start to feel very comfortable with it. We also work on a scissor sweep and a knee block that has been somewhat effective for me in the past. Finally, I get to spend some time on what I consider my biggest weakness – guard passing. I cannot stress how valuable this one on one instruction feels. My confidence is soaring heading into the tournament.
Liz and I wake up early to head up to Bonney Lake. Normally I would try to arrive the night before, but I feel good about the amount of time that I have before I have to compete. Several of my teammates are also competing today. Liz is recovering from her victory in her first mixed martial arts fight last weekend, so has rightfully earned a break from competition. It was awesome to be able to support her during her battle and it feels equally good to have her by my side for mine. I’ve rehearsed my game plan many times, both on the mat and in my head and I feel ready to step on the mat.
The blue belts are competing first and Coach Tom is coaching the juniors in another room, so I jump in to help out my team by assisting one of our top blues, Kevin. He’s affectionately known at the gym as the ‘Yeah, he should be purple’ guy. Outstanding body awareness and technical skills make the fact that he’s only 19 all the more surprising. It’s fun to take on the coaching role, even if all I’m really doing is shouting the time left and helping him warm up. He wins gold in his division!
The time for my match is quickly approaching. I note that my opponent is also a four-stripe white. I’m excited for a good match! We bow onto the mat and touch hands. I hesitate momentarily, trying to get a feel for his game. He takes advantage and slides guard straight into a triangle attempt. The thought briefly enters my mind that this guy is attacking me with my own strengths. I fend off the triangle only to have him transition into an armbar. I am stronger than my opponent, and I defend well. I’ve got him stacked and try to pull my arm out. As I do, he bucks his hips into my elbow and before I know it I am in an extremely dark position. Sprawled out, arm extended, his hips driving at an odd angle into the side of my limb. I literally hear the meat of my arm tear and pop, but adrenaline and pride keep me from tapping. I pay the price when the bones start to grind together. I curse, tap, and go limp as my opponent releases me. I struggle to my feet, momentarily humiliated. The match has only lasted about two and a half minutes. My arm is definitely injured. Not hurt. Injured.
Anger and frustration are not emotions that I deal with well. The pain is secondary, but I am not handling the loss well. This is my first experience with losing in the first round and I do NOT like the feeling. It is hard to focus on the positive. I look at my Coach Tom and remember the grace with which he accepted his losses at Nationals. I try to balance my emotions with that sentiment and am partially successful. The medic says at the very least that I’ve strained the ligaments on the inside of my elbow joint and that I need to ice and elevate it sooner than later. He recommends a visit to a physician and a minimum of two weeks off the mat. Pretty much a nightmare, from my perspective.
Liz gets the worst of it. The trip back to Portland progresses from sobs to sullenness to acceptance. She helps me to understand that the loss is nothing if I learned something from it. My biggest mistake was allowing my pride to put myself in a position for injury. Brazilian jiu jitsu is a pretty simple sport to avoid being injured in. Tapping is the secret. I have to ask myself, was it worth it? Was the small possibility that I was going to escape a deeply sunk in armbar worth my ripped muscle? The answer is an unequivocal ‘No’. I know that the next couple of weeks are going to be difficult. I just hope that I can use this experience to grow and not let it drag me down. Despite all of my preparation and confidence, this reminds me that life is unpredictable at times. Time to take a look in the mirror and decide why I am doing this and how much it is worth to me.
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