My Life as a White Belt - Pater Familias

Pater Familias:

                Saulo Ribeiro is larger than life.  For months I have heard my coaches and teammates speak of the man in respectful tones as they relate tales of his world championships and his renowned ability to communicate jiu jitsu to others.  He is the head of the Ribeiro Jiu Jitsu association, and he is standing right in front of me.  I am, quite simply, in awe.

                When I found out that Saulo was coming to do a seminar for us, I watched videos of his matches.  He is more than just a champion – he has beaten some of the biggest names in the sport.  He is also the founder of the University of Jiu Jitsu, which is an innovative approach to teaching jiu jitsu and the basis for the handbook that Five Rings uses as an academy.  The opportunity to learn some great things has presented itself and I want to make the most of it.  He came to observe Five Rings members and offer feedback on our training last night and now he is conducting an open seminar. 

                This isn’t the first time I have been around celebrities; I attended Yale University and there were more than a few big name stars that went to school with me there (Jennifer Connolly, Sara Gilbert, Christie Martin, heck… Josh Saviano was in my fraternity and played Paul Pfeiffer on the Wonder Years).  This is different, though.  I am aware of what it takes for this man to have accomplished the things that he has:  the hard work, the dedication, the years of training and perseverance, as well the passion to bring his style and message to those who would learn from him.  I feel honored to be in his presence.

                I feel some surprise when I see how friendly and warm Saulo is as he walks among my Five Rings brothers and sisters.  There is a great turnout for the seminar and he makes a point of trying to greet all of us personally with a smile and offer some words of encouragement.  His Brazilian background is evidenced by a strong accent that I find oddly endearing.  One thing strikes me quite profoundly.  If I am not mistaken, he is approximately the same age that I am.  Wow.

                He gathers us for warm-ups and it quickly becomes apparent that we are in for something different than we are used to.  The exercises are a bit more traditional to the point of being a little formal.  I am impressed by how intense some of the activities are and at how the movements loosen up some different muscles than I am used to.  Saulo is akin to a cheerleader, in that he keeps us pumped up and excited all the time.  I don’t think I’ve ever smiled quite this much while doing calisthenics.

                Coach Tom says of Saulo, and I quote – “He is a master of teaching techniques in a simple, easy to understand way that is immediately applicable and usable in one’s game.”   I notice this for myself almost from the start of the seminar.  I am severely lacking in my bottom guard game.  The attacks that I feel comfortable with from that position are basically non-existent.  This is not from lack of instruction, either.  I just haven’t found that base from which I feel comfortable moving and creating space.  It may stem to some degree from that fact that being on my back or even on an edge is still kind of foreign to me.  As a wrestler, exposing your back to the mat was about as ‘wrong’ as something could be.  That being said, Saulo just demonstrated a position that he calls ‘classic guard’.  From closed guard you break down your opponent’s posture using a cross lapel grip and a same side sleeve grip (hand position #3!).  As they attempt to recover, you open your guard and place your sleeve grip side heel in their hip and the other heel into their shoulder, bicep, or other hip.  Your grips give you pull, while your heel placement gives you the opportunity to extend their body.  If done properly, you gain a lot of control over your opponent and Saulo demonstrates several different attacks from that base position (armbar, triangle, cross choke, omaplata, and sweep).   I feel my pulse quicken as I start to understand the possibilities.  A few drills later I become even more excited at the level of comfort I feel from this position.  I think I may have just found my guard bottom ‘go-to’ starting point.

                I am extremely grateful to have the opportunity to learn from a six time world champion.  His accomplishments are not something that I personally aspire to at this point in my life, but the way he carries himself and interacts with others are definitely traits that I would like to acquire.  His method of teaching is effective and seemed to offer something to everyone in the room.  I wonder if I could ever coach jiu jitsu.  That would be an amazing way for me to get back into teaching.  Food for thought, for sure.

                An unusual urge comes over me as the seminar comes to a close…  I find myself wanting this man’s autograph!  I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way before.  What the heck, I may as well run with it.  I’ve experienced a lot of new things lately so it just feels right to go with this one.  Everybody needs a hero to look up to. 

My Life as a White Belt - Reflection

Reflection:

                I smoked cigarettes and drank alcohol for close to twenty years.  I went through phases where I was drinking a two liter bottle of Pepsi and eating a box of fast food fried chicken for breakfast, then smoking the remainder of a pack of Marlboros for dinner.  Shortly before starting on the path of jiu jitsu I had ballooned to two hundred fifteen pounds and had failed at my first attempt to quit smoking.  I also felt a ton of anxiety over common stressors that others seemed to be able to take in stride.  I battled depression on a daily basis.

 I look at myself in the mirror these days and see myself transitioning to a much healthier place.  I have lost close to twenty pounds in five months; my diet has greatly improved; I feel good about waking up in the morning.  More than any of that, what makes me feel the greatest sense of accomplishment is that I can see how I am now able to set goals and achieve them.  Whether it is on or off the mat, the things that I want for myself are slowly, but surely, coming to fruition.  I have to stop once in a while and take stock of how this is happening.

Hard work?  Check.  I take care of my job responsibilities and do a little more than is required in order to stay in good standing with my employer.  I am at the gym or on the road (running) whenever possible in order to improve my technique and conditioning.  Perseverance?  For certain.  This process has been one of the most difficult things I’ve ever tried to do.  I wake up sore and tired every day.  I make next to nothing and go without whenever possible in order to maintain this lifestyle.  Focus?  Drive?  Motivation?  You better believe it.  I will never go back to where I was.  That pain… that guilt… those feelings of insignificance.  Never.

Greater than any of these, however, is forgiveness.  I have learned how to be kinder to myself.  I have discovered that I will never be capable of accepting love or loving someone else if I do not first love myself.  A cliché?  Perhaps.  But a deep truth, nonetheless.  One that escaped me for far too many years.  Being my own best friend has been the most eye-opening experience of my life.  It has allowed confidence to replace arrogance, wellness to overcome self-destruction, and social empowerment to remove isolation.

I am having friends over to my apartment for the UFC fights tonight.  I am excited to once again feel good about organizing social events and allowing people into my private space.   As I get out of the shower and get ready for the evening, I look again into the mirror.  A different person looks back.  Not perfect, but more capable of being happy than at any other time in my life.  Let’s get ready to rumble!  ;)

My Life as a White Belt - Discovery

Discovery:

                Today we are getting a rare treat.  Cadu Francis, one of our association’s most accomplished black belts, is visiting to teach a session for Five Rings members.  I have seen him on Xande’s videos that play in an almost constant loop on the screen in the gym’s front lobby so I know who to look for as I warm up on the mat.  I remember joking with some teammates about how he has trouble focusing his eyes on one spot during the tapings.  I realize that I probably won’t share those jokes with him.  He’s a large man and has been a black belt for over nine years.   As he enters with Coach Tom, I feel a thrill of anticipation for the coming lesson.  I have really developed a love for this sport.

There are a lot of newer and unfamiliar faces here today.  As for Jeff Glover, the big names of the sport seem to bring the folks from the morning, afternoon, and evening classes together.  It’s nice to see the community as a whole.  Definitely makes me feel like part of an extended family.  I see one of our purple belts and am reminded that I don’t get along with every part of this new family. 

I’ve only met him once before, but it was kind of humiliating.  His cavalier attitude towards my inability to effectively roll with him hurt my feelings and I was too intimidated at the time to express that.  Now I’ve harbored this resentment towards him and I don’t know how to fix it.  Ah, well, perhaps time will present me with an opportunity to do so.  Patience is another personal attribute that I’ve been working on developing. 

Cadu shows us a variety of warm-ups, which are interesting because it is my first experience with some of the more traditional jiu jitsu exercises and pre-workout routines.  He then moves into a flow drill, a pass (not surprisingly dubbed the ‘Cadu’ pass), and a choke that I think is impressive, but that I am finding hard to implement.  I can tell that he has put a lot of thought and reflection into his presentation.  He makes a point to come around to each of us and offers tips on how to implement the techniques.  My partner and I work through the moves and give each other feedback. 

While this isn’t the first time I’ve partnered with a female, this is definitely the first time I’ve worried about adjusting my intensity dial when rolling with one.  Jessica and Lindsay are blue belts and seem to have a way of deflecting my heavier weight and redirecting my attacks so that my greater strength doesn’t always work to my advantage.  Liz, at first glance, seems to be a different story.  If she weighs more than a buck twenty I’d eat my gi, which means she is spotting me a good sixty-five pounds or so.  On top of that, she’s relatively new to jiu jitsu.  I am more than a little wary of hurting her by accident. 

As the seminar progresses, it becomes readily apparent that my fear is unfounded and unnecessary.  Liz is a beast!  Along with the excellent lessons in jiu jitsu that I am getting from Cadu, I am also getting the unexpected bonus of one in humility.  Her speed and surprising strength astonish me, and allow me to turn up the intensity dial to where it would normally be.  This leads to some solid jiu jitsu ‘conversation’ (as Coach Tom likes to call it) and we are able to give each other good feedback.  If I am not mistaken, from the way she moves Liz has a background in wrestling.  I wonder if she competed in high school. 

Cadu and Coach Tom wrap up the session and we have the opportunity to meet with our guest teacher.  I get the opportunity to ask him about his jiu jitsu journey and I am struck by how humble his explanation is - “I am grateful for every day that I can step on the mat,” he says.  Powerful words that remain in my mind and cause me to reflect on what I learned today about assumptions and my preconceptions about women in my sport.  Male, female, young, and old; there is an opportunity for everyone to succeed and thrive in the world of jiu jitsu.  It also reminds me that the journey is too short for resentment.  I’m going to approach that purple belt soon and clear the air.  The journey is too short and I am not who I used to be. 

My Life as a White Belt - Rehabilitation

[Author’s Note:  Motivation comes from lots of places, but I find that much of mine is currently coming from one source – so I include a thank you with this entry to that source.  Also, beware what you ask for as you just might get it! ;)]            

Rehabilitation:

                I’ve always had a bit of an irrational block against massage therapy, so I’ve never tried it.  Couldn’t really tell you why.  Like I said, irrational.  After talking with Adam (fitness coach) and several other gym members who swear it was extremely beneficial for them, I break down and schedule a session with Coach Eric, who is also a licensed massage therapist. 

                At this point, Eric has become more than just a coach for me.  I’ve had the opportunity to get to know his family and visit his home to watch some UFC fights.  The social outlets that he’s included me in have helped me to start building healthy relationships with some truly excellent people, himself included.  I also find myself admiring his approach to life – he’s generally upbeat and takes adversity in stride.  He also treats people with respect and therefore receives quite a bit from the entire gym community.  Not a bad role model for someone trying to rebuild his life.

                I fill out the form describing what’s bothering me – namely my hip flexors and lower back.  It’s now at the point where I’m in constant pain whenever I am doing anything remotely active.  I wake up sore and go to bed sore.  It isn’t sharp, stabbing agony.  More like a dull throb that doesn’t go away.  I am seriously considering taking a long break to see if that helps to solve the problem.  I really don’t want to though.  Despite the pain, my time at the gym is my favorite time of the day.  I learn something new every class and I have a lot of acquaintances here now.  Hopefully, Eric can help me out!

                He is professional and friendly as we start the session, asking questions to determine exactly what needs to be done and walking me through the process since this is the first time I’ve done anything like this.  I am surprised at how nervous I am.  I really want the pain to end and to be able to have a full range of motion again. 

The preconceived notions I had about what a massage is supposed to be like are quickly dashed from my thoughts.  Instead of a lot of pounding and rubbing like you see in the movies, Eric uses pressure.  It is almost clinical, as opposed to being sloppy or intrusive.  At the same time, he keeps me talking… about myself, about jiu jitsu, and about other common interests.  As we talk, I discover that he and I have quite a few overlapping experiences.  The specifics vary, but we’ve both been down some difficult roads in our lives.  He continues to work out the kinks in my body, allowing me to dictate how much pressure he applies in accordance to my pain threshold.  I also become more and more informed about the different muscles that are causing me to hurt.  Eric seems to know his business inside and out.  He can also tell that I haven’t ever had professional massage work done before.  It seems that my leg muscles are particularly tight and unmoving.

Before I know it, the session is done.  As I get down from the table I apprehensively put weight on my legs.  A miracle!  No more pain!  I can do lateral lunges with a full range of motion!!!  I want to do a jig, I’m so giddy.  I give Eric a high-five and an enthusiastic ‘Thank you!’  This was so worth the money it cost.  I can still sense that my body isn’t completely happy, though.  The great sensations throughout my hips and lower back seem to have highlighted the tightness I was unaware of before in other parts of my body, particularly my shoulders and neck.  Well, they aren’t painful at least… just a little tight.  I’m guessing Eric can probably help with that, too.  I am definitely scheduling another session with him.

As I settle up the bill and walk out the door, I realize that more important than a release from the pain I was feeling is that Eric is becoming my friend.  Something I feel like I haven’t had in quite a while… at least not someone I get to hang out with on a regular basis.  It’s a good revelation, and I walk home with a skip in my pain-free step and a lighter heart to accompany it.

My Life as a White Belt - Demarcation

Demarcation:

                I’ve increased my training time to two to three fitness classes and four to five jiu jitsu classes per week.  The benefits are readily apparent, as my conditioning and strength continue to improve.  My technique is still clunky, but I also see improvements there.  Trying to fit runs in at least three times a week, but that is a bit more hit and miss.  The diet continues to improve – eating a lot more vegetables and cutting out sweets and snacks.

                All of this coincides with my continued attendance at drug and alcohol treatment therapy and Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.  I’ve been doing my community service at a place called FreeGeek, where I’ve been building computers for those in need.  Slowly, but surely, life seems to be coming back to a place where I feel settled.  I have a routine that works.  I seem to be making good choices and prioritizing correctly. 

                Coach Tom and Coach Eric have given me some new things to think about since the tournament.  First and foremost is that there is still a ton of jiu jitsu that I haven’t even been exposed to yet.  So much so that there are basic, fundamental building blocks that aren’t in place yet.  I work hard to fill in those gaps.  I drill the moves we learn in class at open mats.  I watch YouTube videos of things I don’t really understand yet and want to know more about.  Next, I start working on finding out what is wrong with my hips.  I have been in almost constant pain for weeks… no, make that months.  It’s very difficult for me to do full squats and lateral lunges.  This is impacting my ability to perform many of the moves properly.  This is also frustrating me on an emotional level because I can tell that it is holding my progress back.  I talk with Adam – a very knowledgeable fitness instructor at the gym – and he starts me on a program to help alleviate the issue.

                I am having more success at tournament rounds, but still struggle to make it to the end.  It occurs to me that something Coach Tom spoke about after the Revolution could apply here.  When I mentioned my burning forearms he told me that I was overgripping.  I was applying too much energy over too much time and it was sapping that particular part of my body.  In other words, I need to figure out how to pace myself and recognize better when to explode and attack and when to rest and take stock of my situation.  I am trying to give every partner at sparring rounds my full energy when I should be going at closer to 85 or 90 percent, as well as using the applied energy technique.

                The epiphanies keep popping up and I feel enlightened each time one does.  I don’t remember feeling this sense of wonder at learning something new since college – I have really missed it.  Nose back to the grindstone… not the most apt phrase, perhaps, because no work I’ve ever done was this much fun!

My Life as a White Belt - Frustration

(Author’s note:  This entry is dedicated to a friend with the hope that they can find some reassurance and comfort in it knowing that they are not alone.)

Frustration:

                If you’ve ever seen a bulldog in a fight with another animal then you are probably familiar with the incredible amount of damage they can take while putting themselves in a position to lock their teeth onto their prey’s skin and work their way up into a killing position.  Even if you haven’t, you can probably imagine the amount of perseverance and fortitude it must take for them to accomplish their goal.  This is not a tale of perseverance and fortitude.  This is what it is like to be on the other side of that locked jaw.   

                I step out onto the mat with forearms still burning from my first match.  I had overgripped and now I was paying the price.  I had watched my upcoming opponent dismantle his adversary in his first match.  It might have taken him forty seconds or so.  Even so, I feel like I am faster than him and should be able to use the techniques I’ve learned to overcome his advantages. 

These concerns fly out of my brain as we touch hands and begin our battle.  We latch onto each other in the classic fifty/fifty grip – my right hand on his left lapel and left hand on his right sleeve; him with the same on me.  We test each other mightily, throwing our bodies around the mat with neither of us gaining much advantage.  His grips are like iron!  Even two on one I have a difficult time forcing him to release my lapel.  He seizes an opening and tries to throw me using a seoi nage – one of the few judo techniques I’ve actually learned to defend up to this point.  I drop my center of gravity as he tries to pull me over and I am able to duck under his arm and get to side control. 

                My lack of experience begins to shine through at this point.  He quickly snags one of my legs with his and draws me into half guard while pulling one of my sleeves across my body.  Before I know it, he is taking my back!  I protect my neck and try everything I know how to escape.  I peel his hands from collar and try to drive under his hooks to no avail.  Precious seconds tick by.  Coach Aaron keeps me updated on the score, so I am well aware that I am behind.  I must find a way to get him off my back.  Every time I succeed in pulling one of his limbs away and creating some daylight, another one slips in to slam the door. 

                Thirty seconds left – I dig deep for any reserve of energy hidden within.  I find nothing.  My arms are dead.  My breathing is labored and hampered even more by the fact that my opponent now has me face-down on the mat, still with his legs laced around mine and driving his hips into the base of my lungs.  Ten, nine, eight, seven…  I struggle feebly as time expires.  Defeat.

                I lie on the mat with eyes closed and wonder what I did wrong.  My opponent helps me to my feet and congratulates me on a good contest, much like I had done for my previous foe.  I am disappointed.  Frustrated.  I worked hard and came up short of my ultimate goal.  As they raise the other man’s hand, my coach tells me about the good things that I had done; a bit hard to swallow, but I am grateful for the lack of criticism at this point. 

                My thoughts drift for a moment to my stepsons.  I remember very clearly the day I left them.  It seemed like the only way I could escape the drama that their mother was bringing to my door on an almost daily basis was to get far away.  I was unhealthy and needed a respite, but it meant leaving them behind.  On that day I felt more defeated and frustrated than I have ever felt in my entire life… including right now.  This pales in comparison, but it gives me another chance to face a challenge and get through it.  I still feel like I failed my boys, but that doesn’t mean that I have to give in every time something gets hard.  Life is hard, sometimes.  It is how we handle adversity that is the true measure of our spirit, our humanity.

                My teammates and coaches congratulate me on my silver medal and use kind words to bring my chin up.  I resolve in this moment to train harder, learn as quickly as I can, and know that the next time I step on the mat for competition that I have no excuses for losing.  For now though, I have a long car ride back to Portland to think about failure and stifled goals.  Next time, things will be different.

My Life as a White Belt - Tournament (cont.)

Tournament (cont.) –

                Respect is a concept that has always been a struggle for me.  I was told from a young age that I needed to respect my elders, well, just because I was supposed to.  My adolescent brain struggled with the concept of ‘earned’ respect because I saw a lot of contradictions in my life – some people seemed to get respect for no obvious reason, while others who worked hard and had integrity didn’t get as much as I thought they should.  Over time, the concept became clearer for me as it pertained to others, but I still had difficulty when it came to applying it to me.   

                As I step on the mat something becomes crystal clear to me.  This guy facing me has no reason to respect me.  We’ve never met.  He has no idea what I’ve been through or how hard I’ve trained.  If I want his respect I am going to have to take it from him.  I have to show him – right here, right now – that if he wants this victory it will be by going through my best effort.  And so it begins…

                He pulls guard immediately and begins to attack.  I feel the adrenaline pump through my veins as I establish posture and try to open his defenses.  I block an armbar attempt, a triangle, an omaplata…  man, he has a strong bottom game.  I finally get his guard opened and sprawl on the nearside leg.  Quick bounce, fast feet, and I get the pass.  I work directly into the only real submission I know at this point:  a claw choke that we’ve practiced over the last couple of weeks.  My technique is solid right up until the finishing point, but I can’t close the deal.  I hear him gurgle a tad, but it just isn’t enough. 

                My heart and mind are racing.  My breath comes in deep pulls, desperately trying to get more oxygen to my lungs.  He escapes and recovers guard.  Back and forth we go until he sinks in a triangle attempt.  I recognize it early and my body takes over – stack, posture up, rotate.  I crash down and smash pass into mount.  Now I’ve got him!  I start to attack his lapels and before I know it I am the one on my back.  I got cocky and now I’m defending from the bottom.  There is a pause in the action as we both take stock of our new positions and try to muster some energy. 

My coach, Aaron, gives words of encouragement.  “Breathe, Dan!  Relax.  You’re doing great!”  I think I’ve spoken to Aaron once before this match, but he is a higher belt and really knows jiu jitsu.  His presence bolsters my flagging reserves and I prepare to defend myself.  My opponent tries to stand up in guard against me, so I grab his ankle and sweep him to mount!  Six points!  I am well ahead at this time, but I don’t dare slack off.  I have no idea how much time has gone by.  It feels like an eternity.  My lungs are burning.  My forearms ache from overgripping.  Suddenly, it’s over.  Time is called.  My first five minutes of competition have passed. 

Victory is sweet, but even more valued is that elusive sense of respect.  From my opponent, from my teammates and coaches, and from myself.  I earned this!  I realize, too, that my respect for my adversary is great and I congratulate him on a hard fought match.  My elation at winning is short lived, as my coach informs me that I have only a short time before I must test my will once more.  My aches and pains and fatigue come full bore to the forefront of my consciousness.

Again?  Okay.  Here we go.  One more time.

My Life as a White Belt - Tournament

Tournament:

                It can be a long drive from Portland to Seattle.  That is, if you aren’t packed into a car with people like Robert, Louisa, and Justin.   I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time, whether it’s at Justin’s singing or Louisa’s making fun of Robert’s driving or Robert’s driving itself.  The laughter is to some extent an extension of the nervous energy we all feel; that electricity that you feel before going to battle.  The Revolution tournament looms on the horizon and we’re all excited, apprehensive, and ready to show what we’ve learned.

                Coach Tom often uses the expression ‘Oss!’  I did a little research and found out the following:

One definition of "Oss", also known as "ossu", means Oshi Shinobu, which conveys the idea of "persevering when pushed", or in other words, never give up, have determination, grit and withstand the most arduous of training. Carrying on without giving up, under all kinds of pressure - that's the idea of inner strength so common in Asian culture.

                This concept is one that I have unknowingly been familiar with for a long time, just by other labels.  And as I approach the forthcoming combat I re-examine periods of my life where I have had to persevere when pushed.  Growing up without a mother and father, there are many times when I wanted to give up.  I had to find other sources of guidance – my big brothers, my grandparents, coaches, teachers.  There were days when every moment felt like stepping on the mat to take on a new challenger.  I was forced to dig deep or be overwhelmed by the stressors in my life.  I found comfort in the routine – sports practices and competitions, school work, extracurricular clubs, reading – anything that helped me feel stable. 

                Later on in life, I lost touch with those routines.  Partying, drinking, smoking, drug use – these became more the norm.  I no longer had the resources to persist when pushed.  I’d managed to alienate so much of my support network that I felt very alone and incapable of doing things that needed to be done to survive, much less thrive.

                Things are different now… as we pull up to the hotel, I realize that while those days are not so far gone I once again have family and friends to rely on; solid training to use as a resource in my fight; coaches and teammates to support and uplift me.  Now all I need is a good night’s rest and I will be ready for anything.

(insert a restless night of enduring Justin’s snoring… hehe)

                The high school gym is abuzz with anticipation.  I see the familiar faces of my coaches and the Five Rings crew arrive and prepare our area in the bleachers.  Proudly displaying our banner and blowing the vuvuzelas, this part of the Ribeiro family is ready to compete.  I have some of the first matches of the day so I check my brackets to see who I will be going up against.  There are three other guys in my division, so the most matches I can get is two.  This is probably a good thing, considering my conditioning is still not top notch.   I realize fairly quickly that seeing a name means essentially nothing so I decide to focus on going over my game plan and staying loose.  I wanted to ease into the competitive aspect of jiu jitsu so I tried to make things as easy on myself as possible – I registered in a comfortable weight class and in the master’s division so I will be competing with guys approximately my age.  Hopefully it pays off with a good experience!

                Almost time to rock n’ roll!  I see some guys getting ready to weigh in who look to be in my division.  Not particularly intimidating, but then I don’t imagine that I am either.  Thirty-seven years old, 185 pounds, one stripe on my belt – yeah, I am not striking fear into anyone’s heart.  It’s hard to stay warmed-up in a breezy high school hallway while waiting around for what seems like hours, but is more likely thirty minutes or so.  As we step into the weighing area, I feel that electricity again.  I’ve even got goosebumps.  Anticipation builds, my first match awaits.  I. Am. Ready.

My Life as a White Belt - Preparation

Preparation:

                Trap the forearm with the same side hand, then grab the tricep with the opposite hand with palm facing away and pinky towards the ceiling – Hand Position #1.  This position is particularly effective for attacking from the closed guard.  Transitions from a pit stop position to an armbar or triangle submission are possible evolutions of the hand position.

                When I think about this, analyze it, take it apart and put it back together it makes more and more sense.  It’s a recipe!  Step by step instructions to get from point A to point B.  Sure, there are other possibilities along the way; branches off the road to get to different destinations.  But the most direct line is available by following simple, easy-to-remember directions.  How many times have I overcomplicated things in my life by not just doing what made the most sense?  This makes sense, so I am not going to question it.  I’m just going to do it.  And do it again. And again.  Until it comes so naturally that I don’t even have to think about it. 

                Translation for life outside the gym:  Get up.  Establish a healthy routine.  Avoid complications.  Remove stressors.  Face the world with an open mind and an open heart.  Build relationships with positive people.  Set goals and accomplish them.  Get plenty of sleep.  Do it again.  And again.  This makes sense.

                There is a tournament up near Seattle coming up fairly soon called the Revolution.  Still not sure if I am ready for that yet, but I want to challenge myself.  I’m getting better at some things.  My conditioning is improving by leaps and bounds.  Between fitness classes and jiu jitsu training I am now spending close to 15 hours a week at the gym.  And having a blast doing it!  It seems to be a logical next step to add a competitive endeavor to my list of goals. 

Tournament preparation at the gym is intense, but full of constructive feedback.  There is a ‘fine-tuning’ aspect that I really like – taking the things you know and making them better and more efficient as opposed to piling on as many new moves as possible.  I feel myself getting excited at the prospect of testing out what I’ve learned against someone else.  I express my interest to the coaches and they encourage me to register.   

I have to stop and ask myself if this is too much, too soon.  Can I handle the frustration of training competitively and the possible disappointment of losing after all that training?  I realize that if I don’t test myself then I will just end up treading water safely in the shallow end of the pool.  Life is full of risks.  There are lots of people who hide in their safe little worlds without taking any chances.  I’m not interested in being those people.  Look out, Revolution – here I come!