Open:
I feel it slipping away. There is an opportunity that I am about to miss if I don’t take this risk. My life may be no better or worse in the long run if I don’t pursue it, but every fiber of my being is telling me that I need to be persistent; if I stay inside my comfortable little box then I might miss out on something great.
Competing in the adult division is something that I’ve been avoiding. I’m 37 years old and there are times when my body reminds me of that in a loud and violent way. So far I have held my own and at times excelled in my own age division, but I feel that if I don’t at least try to push myself then I will always be asking myself ‘What if?’ That is a question I want to avoid from here on out. The Oregon Open Adult Lightweight division just picked up a crusty, yet game, ‘older’ gentleman. Oh yeah, I dropped another five pounds to boot. I’m starting to think my natural body weight is somewhere between 155 and 160.
Liz has thrown up a roadblock to my efforts towards pursuing a relationship. It is painfully obvious that she feels drawn to me in the same way that I am pulled towards her, but there is something she isn’t telling me; maybe she feels like she can’t tell me. I resolve to give it at least one more try. The fact is, I’ve never met anyone like her. She inspires and motivates me. Just by being herself.
It has been less than a week since Nationals, but physically I am feeling on top of my game. The Open is not just the first time that I’ll be competing in the adult division, but also the first time that my team will be competing as Ribeiro-Lovato NW. This is significant because it represents many of the local gyms that would normally compete separately coming together as an association. I find it personally exciting because it makes it that much easier to network and get to know more people. The guys from Seaside and Salem are a great crew and add a lot to the already fantastic Five Rings flavor. We have a sea of yellow and black in the stands thanks to the new T-shirts we’re all sporting.
This is new territory for me. It has never been a habit of mine to persist once rejected. I always felt that it came down to respect for the other person’s wishes. This scenario is playing out differently; I think mostly because I am a different person. I recognize several things that are as clear to me as the moon on a cloudless winter’s night: A) I am already infatuated to the nth degree, B) If I just let things drop then the most likely outcome is that we both continue on our merry way, and C) That spark between us burns in my dreams. I ask her to talk with me and to my surprise I lay everything in my heart out honestly. She is taken aback and needs time to think.
I have three matches today. They all end up looking and feeling about the same. It’s not that I perform poorly. I end up taking home bronze by winning the first two matches. The difficulty I have is that my game seems somewhat unimaginative and ineffective today. My sweeps get me the points I need to win, but I have an incredibly hard time passing guard and maintaining cross sides. In the final match, my penchant for leaving my arms hanging away from my body gets me caught in a triangle. I was up 2 to 0 with very little time left on the clock. Reminiscent of my finals match at Nationals. Overall, I feel vindicated because I showed that I can compete with the ‘young bucks’ and do more than hold my own, but I also recognize that I have a lot to work on. I can’t wait to get back to training!
The message I am currently reading from Liz has set me on fire. I am struggling with her admission of deception, yet excited beyond excitement by her willingness to give us a chance. This exceptional being sees something in me that I have only just begun to see in myself and I am literally dancing at the prospects the future holds. More reinforcement for persistent pursuit of what you want in life. I don’t remember any of the classic romances starting with someone giving up!
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